Friday, October 21, 2005

Exspectations

I know that as people change they grow apart and indeed we all have. Moving to Florida was a huge transition for both of us, and we were both very vulnerable. And we have both grown and changed in different ways.

We've all had that feeling that someone or something has let us down. It's a lousy feeling on both sides of that equation. Honestly I think it comes down to expectations - or more specifically managing those expectations. And we expected from each other what we knew in the past. We didn't expect to transition and change.

Have you ever asked yourself what makes you - YOU? I do. I look to myself, and try to figure out if I'm getting away from my core self - getting away from the things I value most, the things that I like most about myself. A half a thought away comes the other side of that - what don't I like - what is it going to take to change those things I don't like? And yes - I'm honest with myself even to realize that list is not a short one either. We have to choose to change. - Life is all about choice - and I believe that to be true above a lot of other things. Above all else? I'll get back to you on that one. Rethinking the idea of choice - about finding something that matters is inspiring to me. It also makes me want to get back in that old beater of a car and drive somewhere - anywhere! But choices do not have to come at the event of a geographical change - or even a change in a job. Choice is an every day reality. I am driving home from work using different routes. Why. Just because - that's the way I'm built. Sure I could go months driving the same way - and there was nothing wrong with THAT way - but sometimes I just wanted a different way - a choice.
I'm faced with choices now - sure the obvious one is a job, or maybe even a career - but then there are things that wrap into just that one choice, around it, before and after it. I've spent many days sitting down here on my patio trying to answer these questions.

The point of this is that choices have made you, you…and me, me. With choice comes change.

When you are faced with life choices - people typically classify this as making changes. But if you fall into the same habits as before - good or bad - then what changes have you made other than the environment that your in.


Ok so I guess that is all.

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